Day 8

Things that I will miss about being in the hospital:

1) First and foremost is the daily housekeeping. I mean really, no dusting, toilets, mopping? Gonna be a hard re-entry.
2) Having Casey do my laundry.
3) Room service. Ok, the food is nasty at the hospital, but they bring it right to you! I'm going to miss the yummy meals family brings for Casey and I even more though.
4) Convenience. It's cramped quarters here, and there's no privacy but you have everything you need or the nurses will get it for you (ice packs, meds, potty next to the bed, etc.)
5) Nurses. These ladies (and they are 99.9% ladies) are awesome. They are almost without fail sweet and gentle spirits who want to make Tessa feel better. I could never do their job, and I'm grateful for how amazing they are.
6) How easy it is to maintain a routine. This is probably in part because of 1, 2 and 3. When you don't have the housekeeping stuff to do you can focus more.

I'm sure there is other stuff that goes on this list but that's all I can think of for now.

Tessa is doing pretty well. Her mouth actually looks slightly better and her counts are at the very beginning stages of heading upward. It will still be a while before she feels better, but I found myself grinning when the doctors were in here on their rounds tossing around the word "better". She's very tired and a little out of it in general, thanks to the dilauded. But the behavioral effects seem to have subsided, and I'm not going to lie-it's a little of a relief that she's so out of it. She isn't writhing in pain and is able to rest. She's still terribly unhappy and hurting, but it is so wonderful to know there is an upswing in her future.

Fear did grip me last night, though. Yesterday her toes were hurting. This is generally where the bone pain starts when it begins to come back. Then in the middle of the night her thumb started hurting. All I could think about was the conversations with doctors about how the transplant may not address the thickening of her bones. We spoke to the doctors this morning during rounds and they talked about the normal remodeling of bones that will happen in all transplant patients. It is too early to know anything about the status of her bones, but I know I have no control over any of this. So I absolve to not get tangled in my fear and focus on our little triumphs.

Looking forward to a possible visit from Noni and Papa tonight (depending on when Tessa wakes from her nap). Thank you to Aunty Jenny for the wonderful book of bedtime stories! Wish you were closer seester, we miss your "Make the Babies Talk" skills!

Love to all!