5/11/17

Well Tessa made it through her bone marrow aspiration today. It was a rough day for all of us. It was very surreal to be walking this path again. The knee pain, the X-rays and MRI, the aspiration. I fell apart a couple of times under the weight of the possible return of her cancer.

Casey and the nurses were so wonderful. The staff at the Bass Center (oncology/stem cell clinic) are incredible. They are unfailingly supportive and kind. Tessa is kind of a rock star there. She has been going there for so long that the long term staff all know her and make a point of searching us out to say hi.

The hardest part by far is the passage into unconsciousness and the return from it. The moment the mask hits her face Tessa's eyes widen and she begins to cry "help me!" over and over. Her eyes start rolling around in her head and she is grabbing at me, trying to hold on to reality. The return is just as hard. The sudden onslaught of pain. The disorientation of being someplace different. Deep breaths.

But there is good news! The preliminary report is that her bone marrow looks healthy. I literally felt the air rush back into my lungs at this pronouncement. Her bones also look really good. So this is all wonderful and relieving. Of course that still leaves us with Tessa's ongoing pain and inability to walk. The pediatric Orthopedic doc came to see her. He was stumped as well, but decided to order an MRI of her femur and hip to determine if there is any sclerosis or necrotic bone there (both issues she had previously). So that is on the table for tomorrow morning. Another IV drip for the contrast and the joy of laying immobile in The Tube. Hopefully this will shed some light on the situation. Otherwise we are back at square one. Again. This seems to be a pattern... Tessa, the zebra in the herd of horses.